Landon Donovan

Balding footballers week continues with Landon Donovan’s receding hairline. Donovan is arguably America’s best soccer player. He plays for the Los Angles Galaxy, but has had mixed results while on loan to other teams like Bayern Munich and Everton.

Donovan has been a soccer stand out since his 92′ World Cup appearance. Back then, his hairline was much more in tact.

Good Coverage

Over the last eight years, Donovan’s hairline has receded substantially. While he is right in the middle of his soccer prime, he reached his hair prime several years ago.

Textbook Receding Hairline

The picture makes his hair look particularly bald. The combination of sweat and sun can lead to a very shiny dome.

Despite the noticeable recession at the temples, I think Donovan still looks pretty good. Obviously athletes pull off hair loss better than anyone else. When the first thing someone notices about you is how is how fit you are, any balding issues are less noticeable.

USA! USA!

This picture sums up Donovan nicely. When I look at this picture, I see an athlete, and American hero, and a handsome dude – not a bald a guy. Donovan’s goal in extra time against Algeria has been called the most important moment in American soccer history. One blogger called Donovan’s hairline the greatest goal in the history of receding hairlines. I think Thierry Henry might beg to differ. The New York Times even mentioned Donovan’s hairline, claiming he doesn’t let people’s comments about his hair bother him.

When someone has had a receding hairline for as long as Donovan, one has to wonder what’s up. Usually if guys are at a Norwood 3 by the time they are 22, they lose a lot more hair and are totally bald by the time they’re 30. However, Donovan’s hair has stayed relatively constant. Some might point to a hair transplant or hair plugs, but his hair looks natural, and if he got plugs, he would opt for a little more coverage.

Turns out drugs are the answer. In an ESPN chat, someone asked Donovan directly about his hair.

Balding (Reno, NV): How concerned are you about losing your hairline- Zidane got away with it, do you think you can?
Landon Donovan: (5:34 PM ET ) I’m going to all measures to keep it. I use a product to keep what I have so it doesn’t get worse. Look man, if it gives people something to make fun of me for, that’s fine. It is what it is.

Hooray for Donovan’s honesty! The “product” is clearly Propecia. It seems to be working for him. His hairline really hasn’t gotten much worse over the last couple of ears. The only problem: Propecia has been linked to erectile dysfunction. Perhaps this explains problems between him and wife Bianca Kajlich. She’s been in classics like “10 Things I Hate About You” and “Bring It On.” Apparently, her and Donovan may not together anymore.

I’d take 90 minutes with her.

After his last game, Donovan said on national T.V that he still loves Bianca. Rumors are that she called him up after that, and the two started to reconcile their relationship.

Landon, a word of advice. STOP! Now that you’re an American hero, she suddenly has interest in you? Please. She’s a complete fame whore. You single-handedly put American Soccer on the map – you should be knee deep in poon. Who cares if you have a receding hairline? Get off the Propecia! It kills boners! Even if the rest of your hair falls out, you know that you’ll do just fine with the ladies. So be a bald role model, keep rocking that receding hairline, and starting parlaying your sports heroism to a bed full of 22 year old nussies.

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Accountant.

2 Responses to Landon Donovan

  1. I saw your web site via msn the other day and absolutely love it. Keep up this fantastic work.

  2. Aditya says:

    How do you know it’s propecia? He could be on rogaine…

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