Bob Bradley / Michael Bradley

So apparently the world cup is longer than a week? So why not have another week of bald footballers!

Bob Bradley’s bald head starts off week 2 of World Cup head coverage. The coach of the Unites State’s national team, Bradley used to play at Princeton and has since coached at the collegiate, professional, and national level. He’s 52 now, but the even in the earliest pictures of him on the internet, he had thinning hair.

Younger, Still Balding

Since that picture, he has lost most of the hair off the top of his head. He still looks pretty good for a 52 year old.

Bald and Bold

Bradley has high cheekbones, and a thin face. He still looks athletic – qualified to be a soccer coach. He’s definitely supports the “really good shape trumps lack of hair” argument.

Bob Bradley’s son, Michael, seems to be following suit. Michael plays for the U.S nation team. His club team is Borussia Mönchengladbach (say that 5 times fast).

He used to have long, wonderful hair.

Great Hair

In recent tournaments, he’s kept a closer cut, and there are some noticeable recessions at the temples.

Hairline Starting to Fade

At the world cup, Michael came out with a shaved head.

Buzzzz

Michael probably looked and his dad, realized his future, and decided to start buzzing early. He carries the look well.

Neither man has been linked to a hot girl, so I’ll leave you with this picture of some USA fans.

USA! USA! USA!

Tim Howard

Bald footballers week rolls on with the American, bald, standout goalie (or keeper for those over seas) Tim Howard. A hero in the recent United States – England draw, Howard is arguably the most valuable player on the American team. He  played for the MetroStars and Manchester United, but currently starts for Everton.

Howard is half black, and used to have that typical short black man haircut. He had a relatively low, straight hairline.

Starting To Thin a Bit

As he has gotten older, Howard’s hair started to get progressively thinner. For a while, he was in balding denial, and would rock the terrible “hair on the sides” look.

Hair on Top Totally Thin

These days, Howard shaves his entire head. He looks a lot better – he’s a pretty good looking dude and has a dark complexion. He could probably look even better if he shaved his head with a realrazor. Currently, it looks like he just takes an electronic razor to the dome. If you look carefully, you can still see the residual hair. Luckily for Howard, being half black helps minimize the shadow effect.

Bald Head

Howard’s wife is nothing special. Instead, enjoy this hot Brazilian football fan.

Couldn't Find a Hot American Fan...

Landon Donovan

Balding footballers week continues with Landon Donovan’s receding hairline. Donovan is arguably America’s best soccer player. He plays for the Los Angles Galaxy, but has had mixed results while on loan to other teams like Bayern Munich and Everton.

Donovan has been a soccer stand out since his 92′ World Cup appearance. Back then, his hairline was much more in tact.

Good Coverage

Over the last eight years, Donovan’s hairline has receded substantially. While he is right in the middle of his soccer prime, he reached his hair prime several years ago.

Textbook Receding Hairline

The picture makes his hair look particularly bald. The combination of sweat and sun can lead to a very shiny dome.

Despite the noticeable recession at the temples, I think Donovan still looks pretty good. Obviously athletes pull off hair loss better than anyone else. When the first thing someone notices about you is how is how fit you are, any balding issues are less noticeable.

USA! USA!

This picture sums up Donovan nicely. When I look at this picture, I see an athlete, and American hero, and a handsome dude – not a bald a guy. Donovan’s goal in extra time against Algeria has been called the most important moment in American soccer history. One blogger called Donovan’s hairline the greatest goal in the history of receding hairlines. I think Thierry Henry might beg to differ. The New York Times even mentioned Donovan’s hairline, claiming he doesn’t let people’s comments about his hair bother him.

When someone has had a receding hairline for as long as Donovan, one has to wonder what’s up. Usually if guys are at a Norwood 3 by the time they are 22, they lose a lot more hair and are totally bald by the time they’re 30. However, Donovan’s hair has stayed relatively constant. Some might point to a hair transplant or hair plugs, but his hair looks natural, and if he got plugs, he would opt for a little more coverage.

Turns out drugs are the answer. In an ESPN chat, someone asked Donovan directly about his hair.

Balding (Reno, NV): How concerned are you about losing your hairline- Zidane got away with it, do you think you can?
Landon Donovan: (5:34 PM ET ) I’m going to all measures to keep it. I use a product to keep what I have so it doesn’t get worse. Look man, if it gives people something to make fun of me for, that’s fine. It is what it is.

Hooray for Donovan’s honesty! The “product” is clearly Propecia. It seems to be working for him. His hairline really hasn’t gotten much worse over the last couple of ears. The only problem: Propecia has been linked to erectile dysfunction. Perhaps this explains problems between him and wife Bianca Kajlich. She’s been in classics like “10 Things I Hate About You” and “Bring It On.” Apparently, her and Donovan may not together anymore.

I’d take 90 minutes with her.

After his last game, Donovan said on national T.V that he still loves Bianca. Rumors are that she called him up after that, and the two started to reconcile their relationship.

Landon, a word of advice. STOP! Now that you’re an American hero, she suddenly has interest in you? Please. She’s a complete fame whore. You single-handedly put American Soccer on the map – you should be knee deep in poon. Who cares if you have a receding hairline? Get off the Propecia! It kills boners! Even if the rest of your hair falls out, you know that you’ll do just fine with the ladies. So be a bald role model, keep rocking that receding hairline, and starting parlaying your sports heroism to a bed full of 22 year old nussies.

Wayne Rooney

Wayne Rooney kicks off bald footballers week on baldingisbeautiful! That’s right, in honor of the world cup, every post this week will be dedicated to a soccer player who has lost some hair. Rooney is the 24 year old English striker that also plays for Manchester United. He used to have a decent hairline.

Gotta hate Man U, and England

These days, that hairline is long gone. He has rocked the shaved head look in the past, but he is pretty pale, so he usually just embraces his receding hairline. He usually looks pretty scary, but who cares, he’s a great footballer.

Balding For Sure

Not only does he have a receding hairline, but what’s left up there is starting to thin. Rooney will never be a pretty dude – good thing he’s loaded.

Being a famous athlete, you would think Rooney could pull some decent tail. In reality, his girlfriend Coleen Mcloughlin isn’t particularly hot.

Rooney's Piece

Maybe  his hairline really is hurting his off the pitch game. Or maybe English dudes are into this look.

After England tied the US, I heard that tired cliche “a tie is like kissing your sister” a ton. Kissing Coleen Mcloughlin shouldn’t be worth much more…

Andre Agassi

Andre Agassi’s hair is nearly as famous as his tennis play. He once obtained the number one ranking in the world, and has even obtained the career grand slam. In his book, he admitted that wore a wig at the 1990 French open. At the time he was just 20 years old. That had to be rough.

The Mullet is the Ultimate Hair Style - Business in the Front, Party in the Back

From his book,

‘I asked myself: you want to wear a toupee? On the tennis court? I answered myself; what else could I do?…Then a fiasco happened, the evening before the match, I stood under the shower and felt my wig suddenly fall apart.

Probably I used the wrong hair rinse. I panicked and called my brother Philly into the room. “It’s a total disaster!” I said to him. He looked at it and said he could clamp it with hair clips. It took 20 clips. “Do you think it will hold?” I asked. “Just don’t move so much,” he said.

Of course I could have played without my hairpiece, but what would all the journalists have written if they knew that all the time I was really wearing a wig? During the warming-up training before play I prayed. Not for victory, but that my hairpiece would not fall off. With each leap, I imagined it falling…”

It’s amazing that he was able to reach the finals of a major tennis tournament will all that on his mind. As he got a little older, he started to ditch the wig and embraced his hairloss.

Buzzed Head and Goatee, Classic Balding Look

These days, Agassi shaves his head completely and has no facial hair. The look works well for him – he looks clean, intelligent and professional.

Bald and Proud

That’s Andre with his wife, former tennis player Steffi Graf. She’s 5’9, and Andre admitted to wearing elevator shoes at his wedding so he wouldn’t look short. As you can see, he’s a pretty self conscious dude. Dealing with hair loss at such a young age must have been particularly rough. Now I love Steffi Graf, but she’s no Anna Kournikova.

Love-Love

or Maria Sharapova

Bootiful

or even Simona Halep.

No Wonder Female Tennis Is So Popular In America

Ray Allen

Ray Allen is the wonderfully bald shooting guard of the Boston Celtics. A win in these NBA finals would be his second NBA championship. He has one of the deadliest three point shots in NBA history, and one of the smoothest domes in the league.

As an All-American and the Big East player of the year at UConn, Allen had a relatively low, straight hairline.

Straight Hairline At UConn

Allen would be drafted by the Milwaukee Bucks. His rookie card reveals some thick hair with excellent coverage.

Covered Head

Allen would later be traded to the Seattle Supersonics (a great NBA franchise which would horribly become the Oklahoma City Thunder). By then, his hairline had faded a great deal.

A Slightly Bigger Forehead

A much higher hairline from his college days.

Currently, Allen has a very smooth, shiny head. It looks like he shaves with a razor. A lot of times, black guys can get away with just taking some clippers to their skin – the dark skin makes it difficult to see the stubble.

Shiny

Despite the lack of hair, Allen is still a pretty good looking guy. He even stared in the Spike Lee film “He Got Game” with Denzel Washington.

Despite his hair loss, he has managed to land a pretty good looking wife, Shannon Walker Williams.

Not Bad

No skanky pictures of her online. Which is unusual for an athlete’s wife. Enjoy some hot Celtic Dancers instead.

Gotta Love Pro Sports

Kelly Slater

Kelly Slater is a professional surfer.  He was both the youngest and oldest Association of Surfing Professionals (I know, it’s crazy such a thing exists) Champion. He has gone through quite the hair odyssey. In his younger days, he looked like an Abercrombie model.

Beautiful Locks

 

I’m not gay, but damn. That’s a beautiful man.

Not long into his surfing career, Slater started to lose some strands. There don’t seem to be any pictures of Slater with the onset on male pattern baldness, meaning he probably started shaving his head early on. These days, he shaves the entire dome, probably with a razor.

Shaved Head

 

Still a good looking dude. He obviously stays in good shape. I’ve always thought that having a thin face was crucial in really owning the shaved head look. Fat and bald reminds people of a baby. Athletic and bald reminds people of a badass.

As you might imagine, pro surfers are able to get some serious poon tang. In the past, he’s dated Cameron Diaz and Pamela Anderson and Gisele Bündchen. It’s hard to get a trio more impressive than that. Currently, The 38 year old Slater dates a 20 year old named Kalani Miller.

Kelly Slater's Girlfriend, Kalani Miller

 

Beautiful, exotic, just my type. Slater is a lucky dude.

Damn She's Cute